Mansion Masquerade
by Doodle Sketch
Summary: One-Shot. The Yugi-Squad are sneaking through a mansion in an attempt to prank the great Seto Kaiba himself. Just one question ensues: What were they thinking?


**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of it's characters.**

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"You're doing it wrong."

"Man, just…shut up already. I'm doing fine."

"If you were doing fine that door would be open by now."

"I'm almost done."

Footsteps.

"Damn. Hurry up."

"Like you could go any faster?"

"My two-year-old cousin could go faster. And she can barely walk."

More footsteps.

"That's _it_, move over!"

"No, I've got it!"

With a click, Joey pulled the now slightly mangled hair slide (hoping Serenity wouldn't mind) out of the lock and shoved his shoulder into the door. It opened a lot easier than anticipated – so much so, that the blonde ended up on the floor on the other side. Duke just sighed, stepping over Joey, giving him a nudge with a polished, pointed black shoe as he did so.

"Get off the floor, idiot, and close the door. Those footsteps are getting louder, and I don't think he's alone."

"Calm down, we're fine…oh, it's pitch black in here! Where's the light switch?"

"Feel along the wall…aha!" Duke whispered triumphantly as his finger came into contact with something. He tried prodding it.

"AAAGH!"

Duke leaped both backwards and upwards in his shock as the something yelled at him – landing on his butt with his hand still stretched out and a foot in what felt like a metal bucket."I know that scream…" A voice grumbled from somewhere underneath him."Me too. Yugi? Are you there?"

"…Duke? Joey?"

"Get _off _me, Duke, damnit!"

"Sorry…Yugi, what were you doing lying against the wall?"

"Huh?" Finally, the lights flickered on. Yugi blinked sleepily up at his friends, who were still tangled up on the floor. "H-hey guys…" He yawned widely, not bothering to cover his mouth.

Duke flipped himself sideways, crashing onto the floor and twisting his ankle uncomfortably in the bucket, but at least it got him off of Joey.

"Please explain to me why you are sleeping in a coat closet when you should be clearing the security systems with Tristan and Bakura?" Duke grumbled, pushing himself up.

Yugi blinked again. Then his amethyst eyes grew wide.

"Tristan! Bakura!" he shrieked in alarm, jumping up violently. Duke reached up and slapped a hand over the shorter teen's mouth.

"Shut up!" he hissed. They'd already created enough clatter with the screaming and collapsing onto clanging metal pails. It was a wonder the footsteps from earlier weren't marching straight through the door.

Yugi wriggled out of Duke's clasp. "Sorry. But…ah, you see, we heard the security guards coming right towards the room, so we split up. One of the guards was chasing me and…"

"Wait, we're in a _coat closet_? GOD DAM-"

This time it was Joey's turn to get a hand clapped over his mouth.

"Where are Tristan and Bakura now?" Duke asked Yugi quietly.

"I don't know." Yugi replied worriedly. "But if his guards can put me to sleep and shove me in a closet, who knows what would happen if Kaiba were to catch them."

"You're telling me I spent hours picking the wrong freakin' _lock_?!" Joey slapped away Duke's hand. "We're not supposed to be in the freakin' _coat closet_!"

"Wait…" Duke's emerald eyes widened as something inside him clicked. "If they put you in here, chances are they're going to come back for you."

"So?"

"_So_, nimrod, they're coming back in here. Or worse, Kaiba is."

"Damn…"

"Come on."

Duke seized the door handle and attempted to pull it back. It was _much _stiffer opening from the _inside_. It took both Yugi and Joey's help to unjam it, and when it _did_open it was so abruptly that Duke went flinging backwards, crashing into Yugi. Joey dodged and managed to get out of the closet first.

"Hurry up, we gotta get this stuff into Kaiba's study now or…"

"...Ouch..."

"Sorry, Yugi."

"S'kay."

Joey halted as a painfully familiar figure appeared around the corner, looking taller than ever, if that was possible.

"Shit…"

"_Shit_indeed, Wheeler," Kaiba sneered, slender arms folded across his torso. He stood still, staring at the three red-faced teenagers, who all bore the look of children caught stealing cookies.

"Sorry, dude, he caught us," the head of another figure peered around the corner, sporting a bruise on his cheek, but smiling sheepishly.

"What happened to you, Tristan?" Duke asked, dusting off his red waistcoat.

"Eh, well…" Tristan fully emerged from behind the wall…and slumped in one arm was yet another familiar face.

"Bakura!" Yugi cried, with his natural concern. "What…"

"…Happened? Well, blame Moneybags over here for starters." Tristan jerked his head towards Kaiba, who muttered something inaudible under his breath, but remained otherwise silent. "He must have though we were burglars, because he leaped out of nowhere and demonstrated some of his self-defence. Bakura got knocked right out."

"You can hardly blame me." Kaiba said indifferently. "What would you do if you heard frantic footsteps and your incompetent security guards yelling like hounds? I stopped when I realized it was just one of the Yugi-Squad. That is…" It was his turn to jerk his head at Tristan. "Until _he _popped out of nowhere and tried to pick a fight."

"Tristan!" Yugi scolded, while Duke shook his head in that you-should-have-known-better kind of way.

"Well, what would you do if you saw one of us suddenly getting kicked right onto the floor? I was trying to _defend_ him…"

"Not very well it seems…" Joey snorted, pointing to the bruise.

"Shut up," he snarled. "Anyway…looks like the joke's off…"

"We didn't stand much of a chance anyway," Duke said, folding his arms. "What were you thinking, Joey?"

"Joey…?" Seto repeated, but no one was really listening.

"Hey, you agreed, man! If it was such a bad idea why did you come along?!"

"Seemed like a fun way to spend the night."

"Get back to your dungeon, dice boy."

"Hey guys, stop fighting!"

"Mmm…Huh…?" a soft mumble came from the end of the hall.

"Bakura!" Tristan exclaimed, standing the white-haired boy upright. "You feeling okay…?"

"Yes…I think so," Bakura glanced up, catching Seto's eye, then looked away fearfully. "My chest hurts…"

"That's what happens when you get kicked in it," Joey added, not resisting to glare at Seto. The former showed no remorse in glaring back either.

"Maybe we should leave…" Yugi added timidly.

"Damn straight." Seto said. "Before I call police on the grounds of breaking-and-entering."

"Oh dear…" Bakura said quietly.

"Why did I come again?" mumbled Tristan, putting a hand to his injured cheek, which was turning a brilliant purple.

Yugi sighed, turned away, and made his way down the hall with Duke in tow. Bakura rubbed his head and blinked in his daze, before Tristan took his wrist and led him away too. Joey picked up his rucksack and made to follow the rest of the group.

"Hold it, mutt," Seto ordered, stretching out a hand. Joey stilled. You didn't say no to Kaiba...especially not in his own house. "I want your bag of tricks."

Yugi and the rest turned around, as Joey bowed his head - much like a dog - and handed over the bag. With an air of triumph, Seto flung back the zip and tipped the contents all over the hard floor with a clatter.

"Counterfeit cards...stink bombs..._water balloons_?" Seto kicked through the pile of assorted junk shop purchases, then looked up at Joey. "Just how old are you again?"

Joey clenched a fist. He wouldn't put it past Kaiba to pick up one of those balloons and throw it at him right then.

"I'm above these kinds of juvenile games," he declared, as though he could see straight through Joey's thoughts. Scary.

Joey blinked at the rest of the gang.

"Sorry for all the trouble, guys," he said, ruffling his hair. "I thought we could do it..."

"No worries, Joe," Tristan said reassuringly.

"That's quite alright," Bakura nodded, his eyes still clouded over. Yugi gave a small, defeated smile.

"C'mon, let's get out of he- GAH!"

Joey blinked again, before a sudden, huge gush of water forced him to squeeze his eyes shut and pull his arms over his head in defence.

The water flow was so heavy it roared as it quickly soaked the entire group - apart from Kaiba, who was standing well back. He was untouchable like that.

When it finally stopped, Tristan was the first to open his eyes.

"What, did your fancy mansion bust a water pipe or someth- Wait, _what_?!"

Seto was now laughing loudly, his tone riddled with arrogant triumph. And he wasn't the only one. Behind Yugi, a smaller, familiar black-haired Kaiba was grinning widely. He was holding several hoses, wired from behind a nearby door (most likely a bathroom), and assessing the damage with those mischievous eyes.

"Mokuba...how could you?" Joey grumbled, wiping his face furiously. Yugi and Duke were scrubbing their faces, disorientated, and Bakura just looked even more dizzy.

"Sorry, guys..." Mokuba said, though his face suggested he wasn't feeling any remorse in the slightest, "But when it comes to pranks, you don't stand a chance at touching my big brother."

"Kaiba...!" Duke snarled, flipping a spaghetti-like strand of soaked black hair out of his eyes. "I thought you were above "these juvenile games.""

"I am," The older Kaiba said, sneering. "My brother isn't. Now get the hell out of my house, and don't bother coming back."

"Fine..." Joey pointed a dripping finger towards the tall, snickering duelist, "but I'm leaving in one of your limousines, otherwise _you're _paying the hospital expenses when we all come down with pneumonia...!"

"I believe you've messed up my entire security system, so you'll have to find a door that opens first."

"...Damn."

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****

Oh, what were they thinking?

That was fun. Being the novice fan fiction writer I am, reviews are extremely well appreciated. Any comments, praise and criticism you have, I'd like to hear it.


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